Posts Tagged ‘green’

Not a Drop to Drink

Wednesday, February 4th, 2009

Folks–
In my mind it’s usually best to try to avert disaster before it strikes, and “take what you need and leave the rest” has always felt good.

In light of the coming water crisis, which actually already is worldwide, I thought of some things I want to do. YMMV.

Even if you do have a low-flow toilet, keep flushing to a minimum. No details, but it really is OK to flush more during asparagus season.

Shower less. B.O. may soon become chic. I usually shower every two to three days (why I have no friends and nobody sits next to me on BART), and don’t really wash my hair that often and it still looks pretty good.

Of course: don’t leave water running when washing faces, washing dishes, shaving, lathering up or waiting for hair conditioner to work. This is harder to do than I would have thought. I intend to do better myself.

You remember those pitchers and wash-stands (often seen in the rooms over the saloon in a western)? I really wish I’d saved one from my great-aunt’s house in Ohio– they bathed weekly, but stayed fresh and clean with PTA baths (pits, tits and ass, if you must).

Try to kiss your grass goodbye. We have a dear friend in Palm Desert, of all places, who will be fined for not watering her lawn. What’s up with that? There are some amazing sericulture lawns even here in provincial El Cerrito. Most of our outdoor plants are succulent (no, we don’t EAT them!). The rest are soak-watered in the evening. We try to put used cooking water on the plants, but forget at times.

Get more mileage out of your clothes. David *hates* it, but I only put stuff in the laundry if it stinks or has visible schmutz on it. And, no, cat and dog hair is NOT dirt; it’s decorative. Not so sure about dog slobber. Socks and underwear, though– wash after one wear, go barefoot or regimental.

Damn, I really wish low usage would gain water credits. Too, I realize that this is totally un-American. And, really, golf should be banned in dry areas. To hell with Phoenix, Scottsdale and Palm Springs. Read a book, learn to knit, have more sex, ride a bike… again, YMMV. Just try to keep it all good ’til the last drop.

Peace, love, Woodstock Nation,
Bill

Green Toilet

Monday, February 2nd, 2009

Greetings–
We all know that the decades-belated “Green Revolution” is spawning some bizarre and maybe really wasteful shit. Here’s a great one: the Green Toilet™. It will spectrographically analyze the contents of the bowl to decide when and how much to flush!

If it’s just pee, it notes the degree of coloration from clear, with adjustments for water hardness and the presence of Tidy Bowl™. Past a certain point of potential odor production, it will flush with a greater or lesser volume of water. Size of the enclosure and degree of ventilation may also be considered. Of course, it will always flush for poop; I won’t go into details about volume adjustments for all the varieties of stuff we may dump– one must always be at least a bit demure! Turd-Blossoms, however, will prompt a 911 call to the local Hazmat Team.

One may program it for aggregate degree of fastidiousness with regard to toilet paper usage in the household; it is strongly recommended that one cease the use of patterned, colored or quilted TP, as this could lead to excessive waste of water. Adjustment may be made, though, for non-bleached paper; some models will be programmed to play Joni Mitchell’s “Big Yellow Taxi”; if you can’t catch that one, go smoke a joint with your grandmother.

One limitation, however: this toilet should not be installed in households that hold keggers or indulge in excessive consumption of tequila; after all, we must spare our fragile waterways so the salmon won’t swim sideways.

Greenly yours [and let's give Bush a whirly!]
Bill

Population Bomb

Saturday, January 31st, 2009

Oh, mercy!
Everybody with any sense, and even some severely lacking are suddenly jumping onto the Great Green Bandwagon. That’s really great now, isn’t it? Who cares if it’s maybe too late! It’s cool! Buy a hybrid, take your own bags to the store, drive less or use public transit (at least until the price of gas goes down and we can forget again).

I HATE to tell you, but there’s a big, fat stinking elephant in the room. It’s name is US! Yes– I’ve only been alive since 1955, and by how many times has the earth’s population multiplied? When was _The Population Bomb_ written? How long have we had birth control? How many superstitious fools, especially educated ones in the US, the Catholics and Mormons, are still fucking like yard dogs and trying to fill up every nook and cranny on earth? We even have a [my opinion] selfiish and deranged woman in Los Angeles, a single mother even, who now has 14 children at the age of 33! Oh, I suppose I must be nice and charitable, but all of these selfish pseudo-rabbits, IMO, DO NOT have the right to blatantly try to exhaust every last resource on earth.

In short: in all of the Green talk lately that I’ve noticed in mainstream media, there has NOT, IIRC, been one single mention of the obvious– there are too damn many of us. Maybe homosexuality IS evolution’s last and best desperate attempt to save an inhabitable planet for the future.